The Simpsons Quotes

You're turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug.

In theory, Communism works! In theory.

I live in a single room above a bowling alley...and below another bowling alley.

Back in Edinburg, we had a coal miners strike. All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive, not even Willie!

When I look at people I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.

Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

Oh, wow, windows. I don't think I could afford this place.

Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.

Why are you pleople avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of death?

Ah, be creative. Instead of making sandwhiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.

When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Next I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating and maybe building a little fort.

For once maybe someone will call me "sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

Oh Yeah!

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

I think women and seamen don't mix

Eat my shorts